In The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling, James Hillman discusses the concept of one’s “daimon.” “Daimon” is a Greek word that translates to “divine spirit” or “guiding force.” In Jungian psychology, one’s daimon is a force within the unconscious that leads us to deeper self-understanding and purpose. Have you ever felt led in a particular direction by something greater than yourself, perhaps a spark of divinity deep within you?
Throughout my life, I have felt callings at different times that led me in specific directions. For example, in 1996 -- the same year I gave birth to my daughter -- a series of synchronicities brought me to a group of people in North Carolina who needed a leader to start a school. I had a deep sense of certainty, an inner knowing that I was meant to do it. That school is still going strong to this day. Working with others to create a school of excellence remains one of the most meaningful experiences of my life.
More recently, I had the opportunity to serve as Head of an independent school in Marin County, California -- a school that faced many challenges. It wasn’t an easy job, but I knew I had the skill set it needed, and I felt called to lead it.
I was caught off guard and felt my life was upended when, after nine years, I was told my services were no longer needed. I had so deeply believed I was meant to do that work. It was a difficult transition -- one that required me to redesign my life. I experienced grief, shame and a sense of abandonment. I had to let go in order to move forward. It was what author Bruce Feiler calls a “lifequake.” I could feel my identity being erased. But this upheaval coincided with the start of ITP’s Integral Leadership Mastery (ILM) program.
I remember showing up at the first ILM meeting in a frazzled state. I whispered in shame to one of the teachers, Roger Marsh, that I was retiring from the field of education. His face lit up as he said, “Congratulations!” Something shifted in me. I realized I could change my mindset at any moment. In George Leonard’s words, I “took the hit as a gift.” Over the next several months, ILM supported me through this major life transition.
Eventually, I moved from school administration to nonprofit leadership. I allowed myself to imagine a more flexible, healthy and creative life. A wise friend once told me, “Your daimon is not about the title you hold. It’s about the energy you bring to the world.”
One day, I saw a job posting for the Executive Director of a nonprofit called “Love is the Answer.” I cried reading the description. It felt like a sign. I got the job and have now been serving in that role for five years. We support older adults who are lonely or socially isolated.
I’ve learned that I can be the author of my own life -- and create something deeply worthwhile.